first day of work

Format for printing
Submitted by nclarkson on Mon, 07/03/2006 - 12:18am.

Today was my first day at Starbucks. I started at 8am, but I was happy anyway. For the most part, it went really well, but this one thing really overfigures the experience. I'm still pretty uncomfortable.

Towards the end of the day when the manager was entering me into their system, she asked for my gender rather than just checking male. Fine. I answered male and she selected it. She turned a little towards me and, trying to excuse the question said, "We had a girl working at the Broad Ripple store and a week after she quit we found out it was a guy." I didn't say anything then. We finished that. I stood around for a while waiting for her to have some free time again, heart thumping, rehearsing what I needed to say. When she came back and started scheduling me for the next couple weeks, I said, "So you had an MTF at the Broad Ripple store?" She didn't understand what I meant, so I explained, "male-to-female. transsexual." She then explained how this woman had moved up here from Georgia to be with some guy she met on the internet, how she was so much drama, how they didn't know she was trans. My manager said, "I didn't even notice the Adam's apple." She finished with her relatively matter-of-fact though problematic explanation and I asked, "So it wasn't a problem?"

"Oh no! Are you kidding?"

I said, "Well, I wouldn't think so at Starbucks, but I wanted to check.”

Her face got gravely serious and she said, "And it shouldn't be anywhere.”

We’ll see. I feel good about the fact that I actually confronted her about that. It's not really like me to do that. But this is definitely not the way I wanted to start this job. I haven't been out at work--there weren't any incidents at all during my eight months at the library--but I also didn't really talk to anyone. I would like to be more social and better integrated in to things here, but I realized, standing there mulling over what to say, that if she'd been transphobic after I'd confronted her, I would've come out and quit rather than putting up with it.


Posted in Employment · FTM · T in GLBT | nclarkson's blog · login or register to post comments · email this page · 892 reads »

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Good For You! - Overcoming Anxiety at New Job

#6 On Mon, 07/03/2006 10:33am lorisir said,

Hey Nick,

I find it interesting that you were asked what gender you are. It seems pretty obvious to me :-)

I imagine that her strange initial reaction had more to do with her being uncomfortable with gender ambiguity in general, then later her serious assertion that trans people in the workplace "shouldn't be a problem anywhere," was her remembering her place as a manager and so forth... realizing she wanted to send the right message of inclusiveness.

I think your presence in her life will move her forward even more in finding ways to relax about gender stuff! :-)

Thanks for being such a gender warrior!

Lori

login or register to post comments · email this page

Yet again, Lori is right.

#7 On Mon, 07/03/2006 11:05am INTRAA Chair said,

I tend to agree with Lori on this. All people have initial emotional reactions to issues that they can't just block out, even if they have been trained to do so, and I think that's what slipped through during your intake. I think that should you develop a comfort level at your store, you would most likely be pretty safe there, because she ended on corporate policy and wasn't mocking about it.

I have had many conversations in my life, especially at the job where I was working in an autoshop, where the rules were mentioned and followed, but the way that the rules were discussed, it was obvious that the people didn't respect the rules or think they made sense. They would mock gender and sexual orientation inclusion in diversity packets and videos. Needless to say, I was not out as trans or queer at that job. I think the situation you are in is dramatically different, and your boss's insistence should be the key to that difference.

login or register to post comments · email this page

Thanks for the alternate reading

#8 On Mon, 07/03/2006 4:15pm nclarkson said,

Thanks for that perspective, you two. I hadn't thought of it that way at all. And given that she'd introduced me to her partner shortly before the beginning of all that, given that the assistant manager is quite a queen, I think I'll be fine too. That's a good point though, remembering their own discomfort with [their own] gender ambiguity as well...

And thanks for links to my flickr photos in your comments, Lori. :D

login or register to post comments · email this page

being out

#36 On Tue, 08/01/2006 8:08pm pennyjane said,

i just wanted to say how proud i am of you. it makes my heart leap everytime i hear of a t out. we need you and you are so important. by being out there and showing the world one of us you elevate us all. there are so few.....i still am the only t most of the people i meet have ever known, or at least knew they knew. sometimes it depresses me and sometimes elates me when they first come to the realization that i'm real and multi-faceted. that this comes as such a shock is depressing, the elation comes when i realize that next time they meet one of us it won't be. that's our blessing, blazing the trail. God bless you on this lonely road, but you have the rest of us around who "get it" and will never let you down. lots of love, pj

login or register to post comments · email this page

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.